love I 愛 l L'amour

当初是因为在988网站找的
一首歌
虽然第一次听
它的旋律不是我一见钟情的
它歌词吸引我
很有意思
我喜欢
就继续听下去
一直重复
直到这首歌让我想起很多关于爱的事情
亲情。。
友情。。。
爱情。。。。
当然都会有所感触
有遗憾
有开心的
也有值得回忆的
真的很有感觉
当然它不是最棒的一首歌
但是 Tanya 唱出这种感觉


 說到愛
主唱:蔡健雅
作曲:蔡健雅
填詞:葛大為

世界收起了笑容似乎想 提醒我些什麼
電視喃喃自語著為什麼我卻變得沉默
永遠都追不上那些人那事物消逝的速度
說到愛 如果你感覺到寂寞
Let’s sing it out of love
有多久時間忘了去擁抱
身邊愛的朋友 懷疑幸福的存在那瞬間
其實早就擁有
多盼望有一段旅程拜訪每張熟悉的笑容
說到愛 就算是還似懂非懂
Let’s sing it out of love
眼前飛過的蝴蝶也許是
誰在想念著我 那句我愛你雖然難開口
我想現在就說
生命太多遺憾每一分每一秒我都會緊握
說到愛 當你需要我陪著你
Let’s sing it out of love


这里有我找到的一个歌词解释。。
第一主打單曲【說到愛】風格與過去我們熟悉的Tanya相當不同,編曲的空間感交織出偌大的格局,讓人彷彿置身壯麗的大教堂,而歌詞層次由外而內、從對世界的感觸、到對周圍人群的關懷,最後回歸渺小的自我,強調的是「珍惜」。而值得強調的地方是第三段歌詞裡所提及的﹝眼前的蝴蝶飛過,是誰在偷偷想念著我…﹞其實來自於Tanya的真實經歷。某天Tanya在窗邊看見一群蝴蝶飛過,她覺得奇怪,住處的高度應該是不會有那麼多蝴蝶飛過才是,於是上網查詢了這樣的畫面是不是代表著什麼意義,結果發現一群蝴蝶飛過眼前代表著可能有親近的人將要離去。不久後Tanya便得知父親在新加坡過世的消息,那些蝴蝶彷彿是父親傳達了最後的思念。於是這段歌詞對於Tanya而言相當深刻且格外具有意義,聽完這段故事因由的朋友們也都無不為之動容。



什么是爱? 

我现在还记得以前以为不错的补习老师告诉我们

愛,
是由一丿;
三点水;
一个秃宝盖儿;
一个心;
和一个友。。。
忘了他解释丿和三点水的意思
只记得宝盖儿就是保护的意思。。
每个人都只有一个心对一个人。。
还要加上友情的结合。。
才能够融合出爱。。

虽然只是纯粹的解释爱的含义
不过也挺有意思啦。。
哈哈

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You said: "i'll love you from the start......."

以前都会时常碰到一些爱情哲学的文章
都会认真研究其真理
到底爱是真的这样吗?
为什么我的爱情里面没有?
要不然就是。。
啊!这个很准!这个很有意思!因为感同身受。。。
每个人都有着不同的爱情故事。。
或许你会偶尔从谈话中发现原来他或她也是有着跟你一样的爱情故事。。
你们会慢慢聊起当初你和你的他。。他和他的她。。
当初的想当年。。
你们从不熟悉的两个人。。
放学后。。
一起用餐。。
一起做傻事。。
跟朋友聚在一起谈心事。。
但是其实你们都知道
心里存在着那种我喜欢你,但是为什么我们就是不能在一起的感觉。。

直到大家都各走各路。。
偶尔还会有少数的联络。。
但是都不再像以前那么单纯的谈话了。。
仿佛大家都有不可告人的秘密。。

现在,
你看回以前的照片。。
你好想回到当初开心单纯的日子。。
但是我们都回不去。。
你可能曾经有过海枯石烂的爱情。。
又或者你不曾有勇气去恨一个人。。

但是你不必觉得惊讶
也不需要觉得谁对谁错
因为你爱的人不一定是你的理想情人
又或者跟你在一起的人不一定是给到你最深刻的爱的那个人

只有回忆才会让人那么的回味。。
只有得不到的东西才能够让人看清楚现实。。
你或许会无法释怀得不到的那个人。。
一直沉醉于你最渴望的那一面。。
但你又何尝不是最后也回到了现实?


没有什么是百分之百
也没有完美的爱情
只有存在瑕琵的真实爱情才是最可靠的

你或许还放不开你得不到的人
还是责怪自己?
还是某某因素??
其实
如果你真的是喜欢他
你不需要为此而感到难过
如果你是真的喜欢一个人
你会有一天发现
你会心甘情愿的做任何事情
只为了让他得到开心幸福
而不是难过的在问自己为什么那么傻
为什么当初我不这样那样的
如果你真心为他
就算你得不到他
你也不会感到如此的难过


爱情并不是占有他来为你付出所有
如果你真的爱他
你就会自然的发现
你心甘情愿让他过更幸福的生活
不是什么约束
更不是什么约定或责任
就算要你们分开
你还是会愿意的

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homemade mushroom soup




i've made it few times before but this is the best i guess.
this tasted much like the real mushroom soup. haha.

you may try my recipe..
ingredients:
1litre Ducth Lady low fat milk( i like low fat because it is not creamy)

1 onion 


1 tin mushroom ( mushroom buttons is preferably because mushroom in smaller size is easy to eat after you slice it.) ps: in M'sia, you can get it at any store as it is no expensive.

2 teaspoon of minced garlic / 2 cloves of garlic in medium size (you may put more if you like garlic. but do not much cause it would probably spoil )

1 tablespoon of butter ( it is enough. you can put 1.5 table spoon if you prefer more butter)

2 tablespoon of corn flour


1 teaspoon of salt

steps :

  1. slice half of the mushrooms, and mince half of the mushroom.
  2. slice the onion in medium size.
  3. chop the garlic (not mince
  4. put butter and wait until it melt.
  5. put garlic and onion.
  6. then cook until the onion turns transparent. ( you see the butter has emerge into the onion.)
  7. put sliced mushrooms and cook for few minutes.
  8. put approximately one cup of water and let it cook until you the water is lesser. ( put just as the water cover all)
  9. put 1 litre milk and stir it then let it cook for around 10mins.
  10. put half minced mushrooms and cook again for around 5mins.
  11. put salt and corn flour as you like to make it thick and stir it.
  12. you may serve with a little bit of parsley flakes. it tastes nicer. 


ps: You can reverse the steps from 1-3. it does not affect the procedures. Use low temperature to cook it and keep stirring the soup when cooking so that it wont stick. It takes not more than half an hour to finish. 




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sometimes

sometimes, 
we face problems in 
friendships,
relationships,
yourself.
you will get mad of it
just when the moment you get angry or sad 
there is chance always there for you
to calm and get peace
or
to continue your low EQ behaviors.
you will go search for friend's help
when you are totally fucked up.
their advices,
you think you will feel better and get something solved.
in reality,
things have two sides.
physical and tangible.
there is no win-win result as you seem.
or make in other way,
you have to incur opportunity cost.
actually things did not solved when you feel good.
there is more coming to your life. 
obstacles never stop in sense of growing you up.
even you are in the very edge of something dangerous,
take it easy. 
hope is always there for you. 
even if you are asked to have to lose something to let you survive,
you still have something that you could appreciate and value.
we are not robots or anything.
we could not posses every thing in this world.
if you trying hard to do so, 
you gonna make yourself look more ugly.
hold on to yourself,
even you do not see hope for just a moment or longer.
 hope is still always there for you.
before you trying your best to search for it. 
good day is every day.
choose or not to live,
live it to the fullest or to the emptiest,
it is in your hand.
for once,
i told myself i now believe in fate.
things made me what i am today.
but no.
you choose what you wanna be.
just remember,
if you are going to lose something you value a lot,
tell yourself you aint gonna lose every thing in this world,
because there are a lot of things that you actually value and appreciate a lots.
just, 
your emotions and what is happening in front of you made you blind.
yes, you will lose the most loved one,
the most important position,
the most memorable thing.
like what i said above, 
you cant have many things in one time.
choose either loved one, position, or the memorable one. 
good things and hope is already and always there,
the matter is we do not want to feel it, 
and take care of it.

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♥ papers again...

i've been thinking what to make for boyfren's 22nd birthday.

and here are the love shapes i've folded ...
its just..random made.. still thinking what can i do with these love papers..



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ahh...marathon!!

lessonnnssss!! MARATHON!!
tiring!! cause i did not get enough sleep yesterday. ><
because....

boyfriieenn's BIG DAY ....
it was five 1...haha!
11/1/11
what a special one to him.
i think...the first b'day celebration @ surprise he got from his girlfrieenn.. hehe

well it was torturing... my eyes
it was umm.... started eveyrthing at last min

feel sorry to my roomate cause i switch off the light around 4 in the morning

cause i was composing the lyrics for him. plus the pic edit.
get bed then. CAN'T sleep AT ALL.
was thinking his b'day bash..

Qs in my mind...
should i buy cake?does he like it?
should i make red eggs for him?will it cause lots troubles?
will my friends help me out?
what else surprise can i give?
will these make him happy & excite enough?

kept rolling in bed...
till 9 somthing.
riiinnggg!!!
it's time to get up for classss
-.- i did not get enough sleep at all
1030  - 1230 class
another will be 1400-1600
ahhhh

walk to fren's house to discuss and ask for their helps cause i planned to go for dinner with him so won't be free with the present thing
done discussion
went to town to buy cake and some present materials
promised him to go out at 1900
was choosing stuff when it's 1900 sharp
he called
i did not pick up his call
he never stop -.-
then my fren's turn
my roomie's turn..
and another fren's turn......
then...asked for hosuemate's number some more.
pai seh...
i knew he worried but i just can't
i was freaking panic and it's empty my mind

sorrryyy cause i did not pick up your call until 7 something
i think..
it was the extreme plot throughout the day

i can't blog the whole story here cause it's too long
so just skip to dinner

we had western food but it's.... not worth in my opinion :P
btw it's kinda hard to have such food in this island so.... NVM
we bought some stuff after that

i text to fren to get ready for the cake
the plan is
they are having dancing practice on 12th floor at the same time
so a gal hide in the toilet with the cake when i text them
so i will tell bf that i wanna go toilet
and  when he get into the studio
i will show up with the cake

unexpectedly,
he wanted to go to toilet toooo
i already text all frens to get to the studio at 10pm
they were there when we reach the studio
we went toilet
instead of doing the pee thing in toilet i get ready with the cake and wait for fren's signal
BUT
my boyfreiin seemed know something
he still waiting for me outside to get back to studio together
so
my frens tried to talk to him or do sometihng to attract his attention so that i could escape from toilet
it was a "back up " plan from frens
they all REALLY put effort HAHA

fortunately there are two doors that we can go into studio
and my boyfren don't know HAHA
i ran to the other "tunnel" as well as shortcut to reach studio with cake in hand
which the candles is lighten up -.-
and they already swicthed off the light
i was waiting at the door for him
and my frens
HAHHAHA
they queue two lines on my right and left side
hahaha!
it's like the groom waiting for the bride in church with family or friends LOL
they sang bday song when they open the door for him



let's skip to the ..... classical part
which they request kisses frm us
i mean we kiss each other
in front of..... 15 ppl i think
OH GOHSHH
of course
i would only do it on his cheek
it was pretty fun of the show up part
hahaha!
at the same time my female frens were doing the red eggs for him ><
thanks loooooooooooooooooooooooooots to them
they are such an awesome freinds!
i must treat them nice food . hehe
the red eggs ..


they jsut sooo fucking nice!
its my idea but was made by them. merci!!!!!!

the eggs are finished eaten. 

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my first sunday!

woke up at 9am. switched my clock. got a msg frm fren. saying that we have to pakai baju kokum.
and i was like...huh??don't give me a damn in the early morning pls. i don't wanna wear that freaking hot sports long sleeve shirt!! phew..

kherli text me. oh yeah dealed. we gonna wear the polo tee... clubkies rooxxx :D
walked ourselves to the hall for so-called meeting with kokum lecturers. OH GOD. they LET us wait!!
tick tok tick...half an hour........
i saw the lecturers came in one by one. with their speed of ....
SNAILs...
duhh!
gave their speeccchhh....
11am. were asked to follow own teacher for lesson.
mine is choir. that was um....
a malay male...
not to talk about the lesson here. felt like ... helplessss
well... the best thing as well as to cheer me up is that choosing choir won't waste lots energy and exposed to sunlight and so
just sing! that's fun enough right?
other than some test... i think... it's alright for me. :)

went town. shopped helped boyfriend for groceries.
my first time to have myself driving in labuan. bravo!  =P

got back. some money matters visited me.

received msg frm boyfren. telling me that i don't care him. he can't even feel it.
i felt... helpless
i don't know what to say what to do.
then felt hurt. felt bad.
feel like...  i do care him but he said that.

at the same time, king text me. "asking" for the car rental fees for past few months.
damn. kokhooi called up. he told me he did not ask for 7 set of books yet i got for him. was it a sarcastic tone? "ah mei...you are so clever lorrrr....i ask u to get 6 set but you got me 7 sets...then i take the most cheap one la..." have you paid?" i stopped a lil while...
" yess.. i paid. "
i said so because i wanted to sell it with a higher price for my FRIEND'S SAKE. not for myself.
i don't get paid for anything !
well ..
i guess it's my first time to be involved in ....umm... trading..
baaaad. sure fail. haha!




the words is heartbreaking. 

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urgh.. boyfrend 's biG Day.

feeling stress about it. still thinking of it. urgh.. emo again. ><
why stress?
he gave me a wonderful present. So i feel like i should prepare and give him one too.. ><
he told me not to stress about it. He would be alright without anything. As long as i will be there with him.

they said there will be a meeting with kokum staff/lecturer at 10am later.
He planned to cook today. For around 12 guys in his house. i'm worrying about it. Wondering he could make it by himself even though his friends told him would give him a lil help. I have explained tons times to him that it's not an easy task to do. He said it's alright. So...just let him.
He is sleeping..i guess..
i'm still....
really no idea what to prepare for his birthday. I don't know why.
i wish to give him the best thing . I hope he will be happy with what i'm gonna give. But still, don't know. No idea at all. i failed.
i need to get sleep now or else i can't wake up .

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